I miss Connor today...why did you have to leave us so soon? I just want to talk to you today...that's all! Can I hear you laugh today. I wish that I could hug you today. But the thing that gets me through today is knowing that we will be together again someday. I love you.

Day 5-Picture of somewhere I have been too

Here is one of the places I have been. I went to the Manti temple last summer to do baptisms. I love the temple more than any place in the world. I love all the temples, but I remember thinking that Manti has one of the most beautiful baptismal fonts I have ever seen. I just remember the peace I felt while I was there. I am so excited for the day that I can go to receive my endownments and be married for all time once I find the right man, or shall I say once he finds me! The temple is a place of comfort, love, and peace. It is the place where I feel closest to God. I am so grateful for this gospel. It is the source of all happiness...

Day 4

So a habit I wish I didn't have is that I constantly have to check to make sure I have my cell phone and keys because I am paranoid I will lose them. It's kind of ridiculous and I waste too much time checking to make sure I have them. ha ha...this is kind of a funny blog but I enjoyed it.....

A picture of me and my friends

thug, pirate, rockstar, amazing baseball player, and 80's baby.....

So we just had halloween! I thought I would put this awesome picture up of me and my friends in our costumes. I love all these girls so much. So glad I got to spend Halloween with you!

Day 2

So what is the mean behind my blog name?
Well first of all Congu small fist is my brother Connor that passed away September 25th, 2010. It was very recent that this happened. I miss him alot. We have called him Congu small fist for a long time. My cousin Donovan gave it to him many years back. If you knew Connor you would realized that this name fits him perfectly. He was one of the funniest most random people that I ever have known. He always made me laugh. He will always have a piece of my heart. As time has gone on it has gotten easier to realize that he is in a better place. But I will always miss my baby brother, and a piece of my heart is locked away for him forever. I can't express how much I miss him...Well that is the reason for my blogs name.

Day 1

So fifteen interesting facts about myself:
1. Well just like this picture I enjoy being a little crazy
2. I talk alot
3. I love monkeys, and I would love to have a pet monkey someday
4. I want six kids
5. More than anything I want to run a marathon someday
6. I could live off of burritos...
7. I want to go to another country for a while and volunteer as a nurse...
8. I love singing at the top of my lungs while I am driving alone in my car
9. I love romance and hope to one day have my own love story
10. One of the first things I notice about people is their teeth, I think a smile can tell alot about a person
11. I love to dance
12. Family always comes first for me
13. I would love to live in the time period of "Pride and Prejudice." I love the way they talked; it is so eloquent and romantic
14. I love when people play with my hair
15. I am the type of person that will tell others what I think and how I feel...

so there it is...fifteen random facts about myself!

Wheel of the World.....

So my roommate Danielle shared this quote with me and I thought it very fitting for the season....

"What is it like to be a child of God?
It is like being a pumpkin
God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you.
Then he cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff.
He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, and greed.
Then he carves you a new smiling face
And puts his light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

I really like this. God does help us to get all of the bad stuff out of our lives, then he helps us to shine forth our light to all mankind.
I love Halloween and am getting so excited to dress up. But even more I am so excited for Thanksgiving, and will be excited to show my thanks to everyone, and more than anything my Heavenly Father.
Well life is good...I can't complain. I may not have everything I want in life right now, but I have enough and I can't complain. I have a wonderful family, fantastic roommates, a great ward, a good job, and many many more things. The world is like a wheel that doesn't slow down and in the blink of any eye your whole life can change. Life keeps moving regardless of whether we want it to or not. So my motto every day is to live life and love it!! Find something to be grateful for every day.

Connor I love you and I will always miss you...

Amazing brother and Friend!! We love you Congu!!

Well as many of you may have heard my beloved younger brother Connor passed away on September 25th. When the whole thing happened I went into complete despair. I didn't know how I was going to make it through this. But just having a knowledge of the gospel is enough! I know that I will see you again Connor, and I can't wait for that day. I can't wait to see the Connor that we all knew. Families are together forever. I want to dedicated this to him. I have so many memories with him that I never want to forget.

First of all Connor had a heart of gold. He truly did except everyone for the way they are. He never passed a judgment on anyone. Connor you are in everything, and don't think that your family will ever forget you. When me, Clinton, and Connor were young we used to play this game where me and Clinton were horses and Connor was our master. I know it sounds funny, but we sure enjoyed it. One time me and Clinton put Connor in a closet and locked it, and told him Santa clause would come to get him and it was only July. Poor Connor! But he seemed to like it.
I will never forget the times me and Connor had together this past winter. I came home to families for 3 weeks for Christmas break. Me and Connor went salsa dancing! He was always talking about how he wanted to be able to do it. We had a blast learning together. I cherish that time with him. We would work out together all the time over that break at Gold's gym, and he would always make me push myself harder, especially with those planks! Oh and if you have never had a Connor hug then you have never had a real hug. He would always pick me up and swing me around! I miss his hugs so so so much!
Something that he would always do that would crack me up was that he would bark out of no where! It sounded like a small pesky little dog, and it always made me jump. I sure miss hearing that...I also loved when he would call me late at night for no reason. He just wanted to talk about life and I loved it. I think everyone can remember that he was and will be forever called CONGU SMALL FIST!!! The name fits him perfectly.
So I was looking through some of my things and I found a small piece of paper in my scriptures that stated some of my goals for the year. Me and Connor where together at church during the new year and that is when I wrote them. Connor wrote down one goal for me and it is to find a sexy husband. Connor I have yet to accomplish that, but one day I will! Please send him my way okay!!
Congu I miss the days when you would show me some of the new music you got. Remember the time when you showed me the new Muse CD and we jammed to it in your car while still parked in the drive way! I also have come to love the band "Them crooked vultures" because Connor introduced them to me! They are amazing! If you haven't listened to them before you should!
Well I can tell ya what...Connor was amazing at guitar...he inspires me to keep learning...I can't wait until I am as good as him. I like to think of him rocking it out up in heaven! I will be there rocking out with you before you realize buddy.

Families are forever!

Congu I miss your crazy laugh that always made me laugh! Remember the times where we laughed at those old spice commercials!


Congu I miss your amazing smile that could light up a whole room!
Like I said a heart of gold!

Something else I loved about Connor is that he was always changing his hair! Just notice in the pictures.

Connor you are my baby brother! I regret not spending more time with you these past 6 months, but know that I really do love you with all my heart. I wish I could of helped him, and hope that I did in some small way. I will never forget our times together. I am grateful that I at least got 19 years to spend with you...The Family misses you...please stay near...
My advice is Love your family like they are the last thing you have left...Tell them you love them every day because you never know when they will be gone...and then you may have lost your chance.

People......

So right now I am sitting in my room listening to music, and really just thinking about life. I don't know how many people actually read this, but I am just writing to write. I was just thinking about how people come into your life, and then all of a sudden they are gone. You can't quite figure out if you miss them, or if you are glad they are gone. Life takes you for twists and turns that you never expect. This is for all those people that have come and gone in my life. Everyone who has come and gone has made an impact on my life, and has made me who I am today in some way. I feel like I have so much growing to do still, and that I learn something new everyday. I believe that everything really does happen for a reason. I am grateful for every person I have met that have made me realize that I can continue to learn and become better. This is for those friendships that you never thought you would lose. There is one that you will never lose though and that is the Savior. He is my hero, friend, and older brother. I know where I am going, and my path is clear when I follow his example. If only we were all perfect like him, then maybe we could all get along no matter what our differences. Thank you to those people that have always been there for me no matter what..:) I am eternally grateful to those friends and family members who have always been near at all times. Life is precious, and don't waste a minute of it. Life is to be enjoyed so that makes me grateful that people either come into my life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime!!!

Lifes Happenings

So the summer has been flying by, and sometimes I wonder how time goes by so fast. This summer has been a great adventure. I have been gone every weekend for the past 2 weekends. I went to Lake Powell, and now I am in Idaho enjoying the adventure. It has been a lot of fun here. I came here with my boyfriend Jake to visit his family. They are getting ready for his family reunion so things have been pretty busy for them around here. I have allergies like crazy and I wish they would go away. It is so pretty where they live. It feels like I am on a mini farm. Jake is great and I am so glad to have met him. We will see where life goes from here. I am enjoying working as an RN at Provo Rehab and Nursing. It feels so good to be done with school for now. I am debating on the whole masters degree thing, and I should probably do it sooner then later. Life brings us wonderous things when we least expect it. Thats all for now...Just thought I should update my blog on the happenings of life! Life is good:) and I am blessed with so many things in my life.

Catching the Bouquet...gift or a curse

I caught the bouquet at my friend Amanda's wedding reception last night. I have caught two other bouquets at other wedding receptions also. When I caught one of the bouquets the pins from it stabbed my finger and it started bleeding like crazy. If you can't say that shows bad luck. ha ha ha...I thought it was kind of funny anyways. Everyone says the classic "Oh your the next one to get married," but that is false. My conclusion is that every time you catch the bouquet at a wedding it adds another couple of years to when you will actually get married. So my new goal is to catch as many bouquets as I can because they are not only very pretty, but I would like to increase the years of my single life...Anyways life is good...I have an interview for an RN position this Friday. I really hope to get it...Wish me luck:)

Life

"Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days when I was six and my biggest problem was what kind of dress to put on my Barbie's or whether or not I had enough Lego's to build a fort."

DREAMS COME TRUE!!

So these are some of the pics that Jacqui took of me for her photography class! I thought the pic's turned out great! She is an amazing photographer:) I look angry but trust me I am really not...

So anyways LIFE IS GOOD!!
I am graduating in two weeks with my Bachelor's of Science in Nursing! I can't believe that it is finally coming! I am really scared to see where life's next adventure is going to take me..
but I have faith that all will turn out how it is supposed to..
I am moving on to the next chapter of my life, and I AM NERVOUS!!!!
I have to pass this exam after school called the N-CLEX. After I pass it the 1ST time
I will be an official RN!
College is almost over....oh my HECK!
Then I just have to find a place that will hire me. I really want to work in a hospital, but I have this feeling that my first job will be in a nursing home...I just need a job, because I need the experience and money! I will work for whomever wants to hire me. I just need to quit stressing about this whole job situation. So everyone wish me luck in passing the N-CLEX then finding a job. I am just gonna keep life positive.

So I am so excited because in two weeks I will be living with 2 of my best friends in Provo. We are going to have so much fun! I am so excited. Me and friend Kira have been talking about being roommies since we were in middle school. Our dream of being roommies is really coming true. DREAMS DO COME TRUE!
I am just surprised that me and my best bud's are still all not married, and that this dream can come true of living together. Thank heavens that I am just anti-boy, and that Danielle and Kira went on missions so they didn't have a chance of getting married. ha ha ha....So girls keep holding out for me, because you can't get married yet. We need to have lots of adventures together:)
But that's all I have to say about that...I will be a college graduate very soon....Life is too short...live it UP!

My realizations

So I have had some realizations over the past couple of months.....

One is that many times things happen in our life and we don't realize why tell later, so we just have to put trust in the Lord and keep moving forward...

You will have people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime...I truely believe this because there are people that have come into my life that I never thought would leave it, but then I realize that they came into my life for a reason because I learned a valuable lesson. Sometimes people come into your life for a season because you needed them at that moment in time, and they made your life easier or they helped you get through a hard time. Then there are the people that come into your life for a lifetime, and that will stay with you through the thick and thin, and the people that will forgive you no matter what..I think these are the people that are sent to you to be your angels here on earth.

These people in my life are my FAMILY!

My Friends!

Another realization I had is that many times I sit there and I think about the bad things that have happened to me, but I fail to see the blessings that come along with the bad things that happen to me. For example yesterday I was traveling from Cedar to my parents house in Cedar Hills. Well I was traveling in an awful snowstorm and it was so scary!

While I was going through Nephi, and this trailor swerved in front of me, so instead of hitting the trailor I swerved to the side and went off the road into the median!

I thought I was for sure going to go into oncoming traffic but my car stopped.

I sat there terrified, but felt so lucky I didn't hit any other cars. My car did ended up getting stuck so I had to get pulled out by a tow truck which wasn't free! It cost me $60 dollars.

I also had this cop come up to me right after if happened, and he said I had been traveling too fast in this weather, because he was watching me. He didn't even ask if I was okay! He instead just gave me a ticket for improper lane travel! I was pissed! I didn't even travel into another lane!

It was either hit the trailor in front of me or swerve off the road.

I also remember having the prompting to get off at the first exit in Nephi, but I ignored it and thought instead I should probably try to hurry and get home before the weather gets worse! If only I would have listened I probably would have never been in this mess!

Here I was so scared and sitting there in my car. I almost felt like if I got back on the road I was going to die. I wanted to stop and not even attempt to make it home. I think that is how it is many times in life! We just want to give up when we are so close to accomplishing a goal or if life just gets to hard. But we can't! I want to make it home one day again to my Heavenly Father and I can't give up on that!

I like to think of my savior and all the hard things that he has gone through for me! He never once gave up and neither will I! Alot worse things could have happened to me when I went off the road, but they didn't and I am OK! It was scary but instead of gripeing about the money I lost from the tow and the ticket I should realize that I still have my life, and that I didn't get harmed, and my car is ok. Life is good, and I am going to live it to the fullest! I am thankful for the gospel even though at times I take it for granted! I am glad that I know where I come from, and where I am going!

I am going to lift my head a little taller, and realize that I can do this! We can all do this adventure we call life together:)

THROW IT IN A BAG!! This is a birthday shout out for Kirita and her 23rd year!

Kira you are gorgeous and don't you ever forget it! I know this birthday shoutout is a little bit late but I didn't have access to the internet on your birthday. I just want you to know how amazing and talented you are. You have such a kind and loving personality that no one can resist. Your laugh is contagious and makes everyone else want to laugh. You are always there for me whenever I need you. Thank you for all the hard times that you have helped me through. Thank you for being one of the very best friends! I am so glad to have met you when we were in middle school. Thank you for your example to all of us in the way we should live our lives, and how we can truly follow the gospel. There is a light in your eyes that draws people in. Whenever I need a good laugh here Kira comes to make me laugh harder then I thought I could. Her smile is amazing and she is one of the prettiest girls I know. She is really my sister from another mister! She has a talent for being creative, and I would hire her to decorate my house when I have one some day. She is a strong leader. If you ever need a friend go to Kira, because she never turns anyone down! Kirita these are some of the things that I love about you, even though there is so much more. I am blessed to have you as a friend. Thank you for your strength. I love you so much.....so lets celebrate this year and make it the best. Miss you!

Yes she likes to hide from the camera but as you can see we are sneaky enough to catch pictures of her!

BEST FRIENDS!!!

She is part of my family!

Did I mention that she also has gorgeous eyes!

Yo I throw it in a bag....

At the Avatar movie! We have fun!

Another one I found of Kira on her mission in Greece!

Kirita in her own element! Doing someones hair on her mission. She is the only one I will trust to do my hair! She is amazing. One of her many talents!
Kira you were an awesome missionary! You are such an example to all of us! You have helped so many people! I know that there are so many people who are grateful for what you did:)

Kirita and me before her mission! I love you chica!

RIP Tiki!! One of Kira's favorite feathered friends!

Kirita LOVES Nugget!!!
Kira, Me, and Crissy before she left on her mission

Kira why are you hiding?

“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today”

SISTAS!!!



These are just some of the pictures that we got taken.
Wish my dad could have been in some of them but he
ended up having to work really late. I love all the pictures.
They are so great!



My Good looking Brothers!











Mom and her Girls.....



I love this picture!! Kimberly did an amazing job taking our pics!!!
Picture of all the kids in my Family
Connor, Clinton, Clay, Me, Cristal, and Carson
I am so grateful for my family. I love my brothers and sister so much. I am the oldest and I love it. I am grateful that my parents decided to have six kids. Our family wouldn't be the same without all of us kids. We may be noisy, but we have fun...It makes me realize how I want a big family of my own one day. There is never a boring day at my house:)

MY GOALS FOR THIS NEW YEAR!

Well I have been thinking alot about the things that I want to accomplish this year. There are so many things I want to do. One of my main goals is to stay positive no matter what is going on in my life. Because you know sometimes there will be fantastic days or weeks, and other times it may be really bad, but if we always look for the good in everything life is so much better. I have noticed as I have been trying to do this every day, each and every day has been better. Someone very close to me who is the perfect example of being optimistic is my MOM! She has so many things that she is dealing with all the time and no matter what she is positive. She makes me want to be just like her. If you look at only the negative things in life then every day life becomes dull and miserable. I have seen this first hand in my own life. When I am negative I am not happy, but when I am optimistic and realize that things are going to work out then I can really have the pure happiness. Happiness is something that we have to seek. I have decided that I will be happy under any circumstances. If I am to be remembered for anything once my time is done on this earth I want people to remember me as the women who was always optimistic! I like to think of another women as an example of optimism and that is Marjorie Pay Hinckley. She was an amazing woman and I love the way that she viewed life. Gordon B. Hinckley our belated prophet is also a pure example of optimism. I love them both. Here are some of my favorite quotes about happiness and optimism....

• There is no obstacle too great, no challenge too difficult, if we have faith. ~President Gordon B. Hinkley

• "Happiness, not in another place but this place…not for another hour, but this hour…" -Walt Whitman

• "When one door of happiness closes, another opens: but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” - Helen Keller

• “A pebble held close to the eye appears to be a gigantic obstacle. Cast on the ground, it is seen perspective. Likewise, problems or trials in our lives need to be viewed in the perspective of scriptural doctrine. Otherwise they can easily overtake our vision, absorb our energy, and deprive us of the joy and beauty the Lord intends us to receive here on earth.” ~Richard G. Scott April 1996 Conf.
  

• "As we grow up we learn that even the one person who wasn't supposed to let you down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's going to be harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it feels. You'll fight with your best friend, and lose friends you thought you'd always have. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing by so fast, and you'll eventually lose somebody you couldn't picture your life without. So take too many pictures, laugh a little too much, and love like you've never been hurt, because every minute you spend angry or upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back". " -chris carpenter

• “The True secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.”
  

• “Happiness is not found at the end of the road, it is experienced along the way. So take not for granted each moment of your life and you will find a reason to be happy each day.”

• “Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.”

• The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it.

  The present is here, live it. ~President Thomas S. Monson
  

• “Happiness is what happens to us when we try to make someone else happy.”
  

These are just some of the quotes that inspire me to try a little harder every day to stay positive. Life is a journey and with the LDS gospel in my life it gives me the strength to stay optimistic because I know where I am going and what my potential is.